


Wonderwall

by CharmedGirl92



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternative Universe- Modern Setting, Angst, College AU, Drama, F/M, Romance, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12060645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedGirl92/pseuds/CharmedGirl92
Summary: Bea never really talked to him. Then again, he barely talked to anyone. She and Priya nicknamed him Edgar Allan Poe because he'd be in a corner scribbling in a notebook, brooding silently. That was the extent of their interactions, until she got paired with him in her literature class. That was when she really got to know him, but she didn't know how connected they were.





	Wonderwall

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Fanfiction by me as well and I'm trying to get into this site more. I also feel that AO3 is a little more welcoming of AU stories than what FF is, so I decided to take a chance and see how the reception was. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize 
> 
> Songs for Chapter:
> 
> Out- Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barrow (Bea/Ravi/Priya)  
> Straight Back- Washed Out (Coffee Shop)  
> Heart- Darkside (Gothic Fiction)  
> Change- Churchill (Bea/Bucky)  
> Turn it Around- Lucius (Isaac/Bea)  
> Music is My Hot, Hot Sex- CSS (Priya/Ravi)  
> The Last Time- The Daylights (Dinner)  
> Hunger of the Pine- alt-J (Bea/Tucker)  
> Beast- Nico Vega (Bucky/Steve)

Quiet. That was all she wanted in that moment. Quiet was what Beatrice McPherson finally found sitting on the roof top of some random apartment building in the middle of New York City on a Saturday night. She should have been downstairs with her friends having fun and enjoying what many considered to be the best years of their lives. But she wasn't in a partying mood, not that she had been in the mood to do much of anything in the past few months.

She let out a sigh and ran her hands through her head. The last few months had been hell. Complete and other hell. Only a few months away from turning 21, her life had been a series of fuck ups and bad events. It even just hurt to think about everything she had been through. Part of her wondered if she should have been sitting on that roof at all. What would have happened if she hadn't pulled through?

There was one thing however that had plagued her more than anything in the past few months. It was a simple phone call that had come with a voicemail. A voicemail from her boyfriend...well now ex-boyfriend Matt Murdock. Sighing, she pulled out her phone and went to her voicemails. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Why was she doing this to herself, she wondered as she hit play.

"Hey...it's me" the voice of her ex-boyfriend began. "Bea...look this is the last way I would want to do this, but I really don't know what's the right way to do this. Maybe I'm a coward for not doing this in person. No, I am a coward, but I just can't do this with you in the hospital." The voice paused for a moment. "You've been through a lot this past month and this is the last thing you should be dealing with, but it's not fair to both of us. I can't do this anymore. I love you really, I do, but I can't be a part of this life you're in. I know it's not your fault. It's not like you asked for your parents to die and to make Tony Stark your guardian of all people. But I can't be involved with someone who has a constant target on their back. It's going to end with you getting killed or me...hell, the both of us. I'm so sorry. Get better soon."

The message ended and she just shook her head. It was full of excuses. That was it. To this day, she didn't understand his mindset. She thought they were happy. Maybe they weren't. Hitting her phone button, the screen went black. She was an idiot for still having it. She didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to delete it. Maybe it was because once she did, then things would have really sunk in. She and Matt were officially done.

God, how she needed to go back downstairs and drink. She wanted to feel numb. She didn't want to feel the pain and the agony. However, deep down she knew it wouldn't help. It was like a void that would never go away and drowning herself in cheap booze wouldn't do a damn thing.

"Hey, there you are" she suddenly heard a voice say. Turning her head, she looked to see her two best friends staring at her: Ravi Kapoor and Priya Saluja. Ravi had been her best friend since freshman year of high school. Priya was her freshman roommate and quickly became another one of her best friends. Through a turn of events, the pair developed feelings for one another and starting dating. It was almost a dream come true for her. Her two best friends were happy as ever and their friendship grew even stronger.

She loved them together. Really, she did. Although in the past few months she felt as though they were acting like parents checking up on her and taking turns to keep an eye on her. She was thankful for them, but she had sometimes wished they didn't act like she was something broken.

"You're missing the celebrations" Priya told her walking to her. "I know it's not the greatest party, but you should be enjoying the fact that the doctor has finally cleared you. You're off meds. Come back downstairs."

Bea just looked at the two of them blankly for a moment, not even bothering to say a word.

The couple looked at each other and Ravi let out a sigh. "Pri, how about you go find Isaac and Tucker. I'll handle this one" he said motioning over to her. Priya only nodded her head and gave one last look, before turning to head back to find the rest of their friends.

Ravi walked over to Bea and plopped down on the ground beside her. He gave her a small smile. "What's up?"

Bea only rolled her eyes and sighed. "You don't have to babysit me. I'm fine."

"You know as well as I do that your statement is complete and utter bullshit" he replied quickly. "Bea come on. Talk me. Why are you up here? You didn't have to come out tonight with us, you know that."

She ran her hands through her dark hair and stood up. She felt her blood running cold and she took a deep breath. She handed Ravi her phone and he turned it on. Immediately, he saw that her phone was on the voicemail page and right up at the top he saw the name. "Please for the love of God...explain to me why you haven't fucking deleted this asshole's number or destroyed anything associated with him. Bea, you can't keep doing this. It's going to keep causing you pain."

"I am always in pain!" she yelled out. She let out a cry before crouching on the ground, sitting down once more. "You asked me why I was up here. That's the fucking question, isn't it? Why am I here? Should I even be here? Why am I doing anything? It doesn't feel fucking right. I...I...hate this. I keep feeling the pain." She felt the tears stinging her eyes. She then felt a pair of arms wrap around her and she heard Ravi sigh. "I should have died. It would have made things easier. I don't want to be constantly reminded. Matt's right I have a fucking target on my back. I'm going to get more people killed."

Ravi lifted her chin up so she could face him. He looked at her sadly and shook her head. "No you're not. Any of us could die at any moment" he said quietly. "You were in a building that got blown up. Someone tried to kill Tony and instead you ended up in a coma. Yet, here you are. You are standing on the roof of a building. You are breathing. You are alive." He brushed some hair behind her ear and out of her face. You're here with people who absolutely adore you. We are so bloody thankful you are breathing and still annoying us like no tomorrow. It is okay to be hurt. Angry. Scared. Pissed off at bloody Matthew Murdock because we all would ring his neck if we saw him. You're going to feel this pain for a while. But it's okay."

"No, it's not" she said shakily.

"Yes, it is. Emotions make us human." He gave her a tight hug. "You've been through so much, but you know what? You're going get through it. Maybe not tonight, tomorrow...maybe not even for a long time. But one day you're going to wake up and you'll feel better. You're not going to have to hold onto this forever." Bea pulled away from him and sniffled a bit and wiping her eyes.

Ravi helped pull her up. "It wasn't your fault. You don't need to carry the guilt. The people that did this to you have to live with it. They're responsible. Not you." He held out his arms and gave her another hug. "Priya and I aren't going to let anything happen to you. Neither is Isaac and neither is Tucker." The brunette only nodded silently in response. "Come on. Let's go find the others and get you home. You need sleep."

With that, Ravi led his friend back downstairs to the party, leaving the roof completely. However, unbeknownst to him and Bea, they had not been alone on the roof that night. No. Hidden in the shadows, stood another person.

Emerging from the darkness, James Barnes, known as Bucky to his friends walked over to the ledge that Beatrice McPherson had previously sat at. He felt a deep pain in his chest. He felt the tears pricking from his own eyes and slowly running down his cheeks. He let out a choked sob and ran his hands through his hair. There was only one thing he could think about. Her friend, Ravi's words. He was completely and utterly right. It wasn't Beatrice McPherson's fault that she ended up in a building explosion and in a coma.

It was his.

And he was living with that guilt every single day.

* * *

_One Year Later_

Bea woke with a jolt at the sound of her phone alarm going off and buzzing on her desk. "Jesus Christ superstar" she groaned. She grabbed her phone and shut off the alarm. She looked around for moment and realized she had once again fallen asleep at her desk. She had her head down on it and had completely passed out at some point.

Looking at the clock, she sighed. She had only managed to get two hours' worth of sleep. Better than nothing, she thought. She got up from her desk and went to her bathroom to start prepping for her first day of her junior year of college at NYU.

It had become something of a tradition, but mostly habit for Bea and Priya to come to the Black Sheep coffee shop most mornings before class. Both girls in desperate need of a little extra boost before a full day of class. But it mostly because they were addicted to the ice chai latte's. On occasion, they would mix it up and order actual coffee, but those were the rare days.

Standing in line, Bea tried to keep herself awake as Priya was going on and on about upcoming events for the year...or something. She really wasn't listening to much at the present moment. She never could function until having something to eat and her morning caffeine.

"We're juniors. Can you believe it?" Priya exclaimed. "No longer on the bottom of the food chain. One more year and we'll be right at the tip top

Bea let out a sigh and shrugged, looking up at the menu. "Yeah...fantastic" she mumbled before she let out a yawn.

Priya looked at her with a concerned look on her face. "You look like shit today."

Bea shot her a glare in response. "Well you're not spring chicken either."

"No, I mean shit as in you look like you've been to hell and back. Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked turning fully around to face her.

She stayed quiet for a moment like she was pondering an answering. "Maybe about two or three hours tops."

Priya's face turned into a frown. "It wasn't nightmares, again was it? I didn't hear anything."

Bea shook her head instantly. "Just couldn't fall asleep."

"You should have come and crawled into bed with me" her friend replied, giving her a nudge.

"Last time I did that, Ravi nearly had a heart attack" Bea looked at her in disbelief. "He thought I was a snake."

"He has a very active imagination. You of all people should know that" Priya huffed before turning to order.

"True" Bea nodded her head. Once she had also ordered after Priya...an extra-large iced chai latte, the two friends went to stand in front of the bar to wait for their drinks.

She didn't bother to notice Priya's eyes go wide and she felt herself grabbed. "Don't look now, but we have our first sighting of Edgar Allan Poe. He's with his buddy captain kindness too. Double points for the day" she said excitedly.

Bea felt her eyes go wide. Her freshman year when she moved in with Priya, they had decided to explore the dorm they were living in. On the floor above them, they ran into two other students. The first was the sickly-sweet and polite Steve Rogers. The second was the quiet and broody Bucky Barnes. Both had just been recently discharged from the military and had decided to use their benefits to pay for a college education. Steve was an absolute delight and a perfect gentleman. Bucky on the other hand barely said a word during the introduction. He stayed in his corner of his room scribbling in a notebook. That became is M.O. Always in a corner, staying quiet, and writing in his notebook.

It became a normal occurrence, it's why she and Priya had nicknamed him Edgar Allan Poe. For his broody and dark nature. Even when he was out and about with Steve, he never seemed to interact with people much. She and Priya really never hung out with Steve much, so they never got the full story with his Army buddy.

Bea's eyes lit up. "What's the broody level for today?"

Priya looked over her should and bit her lip. "I'd say we're at a seven, slowly going on an eight."

"Is he currently scribbling in his notebook, writing another redemption of 'The Raven'?" Bea laughed slightly wiggling her eyebrows.

"Obviously" Priya let out a laugh. "Here. Your turn." She placed both hands on Bea's shoulders and turned the around so her friend could have a turn.

Sure enough, nestled in a corner of the coffee shop sat Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. The short haired blonde had his back turned towards them, typing quickly on his laptop. Bucky on the other hand faced them. Wearing a dark red Henley, his hair had gotten a bit longer, nearly to the bottom of his neck and was tucked behind his ears. He hadn't seemed like he had bothered to shave as he was sporting a good amount of scruff on his face. He was writing quickly, his eyes glued to his notebook. He was a strange person. She wondered why he acted the way he did. He probably was a decent person if someone like Steve was hanging around him. But they were still an odd pair. Seemed like complete opposites really.

The second Bea blinked, Bucky Barnes' head snapped up and his eyes directly fell on hers. She felt her stomach drop quickly at the sight. He himself blinked and his face stayed stoic. When she actually snapped out of it, she turned her head in the other direction. "Well shit, I think for the first time ever he caught me staring" she groaned.

"What? Really" Priya gasped. "What happened?"

"He stared back at me" Bea replied.

"Damn" Priya muttered as the two girls heard their names be called for their drinks. They quickly grabbed them and headed out the door without paying any other mind to Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.

* * *

She looked tired to him today. He wondered if she had slept well last night or something else had happened. She looked happy today, but he could tell just by looking at her that something was bothering her. He was happy he had seen her at least. It gave him a piece of mind to start of his day. He knew Priya and the rest of her friends had been taking care of her, but it always made him feel better to see her for himself.

God, he sounded creepy now. Even in his own head. Why did he have to torture himself like this?

"Buck, you still with me?" Steve spoke causing him to snap out of his thoughts of Bea McPherson.

His head turned to look at his friend. Steve had a look that was mix of confusion and concern. Bucky quickly nodded his head. "Yeah I'm fine."

Steve sat back in his chair. He didn't buy it for a second. He knew exactly what was going on. It started the moment a certain dark-haired girl and her best friend walked into the coffee shop. "You were staring at her again, weren't you?" he said crossing his arms.

Bucky only shrugged a shoulder and his eyes flicked down to the table. He picked up his pen that he had dropped the second he saw that Bea and Priya had glanced away from his direction. He wondered what they were talking about. They couldn't possibly know that he kept an eye on her, could she? This had been the first time that they had ever really made eye contact. "No, I wasn't" he mumbled lowly.

"You're a terrible liar" his friend looked at him in disbelief.

"Let it go Steve" Bucky sighed heavily. "I'm not in the mood."

"You never are" Steve just shook his head. "You can't keep doing this Bucky."

Bucky rolled his eyes and quickly put his notebook in his bag. He wasn't going to start his day off like this. Not again. "I gotta get to class. I'll see you later" he huffed before standing up. He quickly grabbed his bag.

"Bucky" Steve protested, but Bucky was already headed towards the exit of the shop. He watched as his friend walked away and just shook his head. He turned his head and the moment he did, a young woman with redhead plopped right in Bucky's seat.

Dressed in all black and taking her sunglasses off, she made herself comfortable and her green eyes looked directly at him. "Hey there Cap" she said with a smirk.

"Natasha" he nodded at her. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, you know" Natasha shrugged at him. "Just passing through and thought I'd stop here for coffee. Heard from a friend that their iced chai's are amazing."

Steve went back to typing on his laptop. "That friend wouldn't happen to be named Beatrice McPherson, would it?"

"One and the same" Natasha grinned at him. "You're smart and pretty. No wonder you scooped up and scored someone like Peggy Carter."

"Like to think she was the one who scooped me up" he gave her a small grin. "I'm the lucky one."

Natasha sat back in the chair. "And you're charming. You're just the whole package aren't you Cap?"

Steve rolled his eyes slightly and kept his eyes on the computer. "Not that I don't enjoy our banter Romanoff, but is there a reason you're here? I'm trying to get ahead on some work for an art show I'm helping with in a few weeks."

"You know why I'm here."

Steve stopped typing on his computer for a moment. He froze completely. He was afraid of that response. He looked up again. "Stark still having you watch her?"

"From time to time" the redhead nodded. "She's getting there, but Tony can still see she's freaked out. He's not oblivious and she's not as sneaky as she thinks." She pursed her lips together and stared at him closely. "Kind of interesting how you and your buddy Barnes were here at the same exact time, don't you think?"

"Total coincidence" he only shrugged.

She stared at him unimpressed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah you said that at the park a few months ago. Then that Italian restaurant. Then there was that time when you stood in line for that black ice cream. The ice rink. Hamilton for God's sake. I could go on for ages. Hell, I've written a report for each time."

His eyes flicked up to her and he sighed. "You haven't told him, have you?"

"Do I need to?" Natasha leaned forward, putting her arms on the table.

"I've tried to get him to stop this, but he won't" he explained. "Believe me, but it seems like he's got her entire life memorized or something. I don't know how he does it."

"I could give you a few ideas" she smirked at him before leaning back. "The way I see it, he's not engaged with her at all, so no harm done. I'd be more worried if he had had actually gone up to talk to her."

Steve stayed silent for a moment. He knew Bucky had to have thought about it. It would be unlikely that he hadn't. Yet, he had never managed to actually talk to her. "He's still hanging on to all that guilt. He feels responsible for everything that happened to her. I bet you anything the thought of talking to her has crossed his mind in the past few months."

"Even that really nice stand mixer that you and Peggy have at your place?" she smirked at him and blinked innocently.

Steve's brows furrowed and his eyes went wide. "Jesus Christ, have you broken into our place?"

"I'll never tell" she grinned at him.

Steve just shook his head in disbelief. She had done it. Chances are she had bugged the place too. Just for precaution. Everything she did was for precaution. And it all led back to Bucky and Beatrice McPherson. "Can I ask you something?" he suddenly asked her.

"Yes, I agree with you" she replied immediately as if she already knew what he was about to ask. "I don't think Barnes should talk to Beatrice either. It's suicide if you really want my two cents on it. Stark probably have a field day if he found out you were even this close."

"It's scary how you can do that sometimes" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I know. It's part of what makes me so damn good at my job" she replied before her face fell. "Look Steve, I know Barnes is still processing everything. The guilt is still eating him alive. It's not something that he's going to be able to get over even after a year or two. He's needs to be careful though. He needs to try and start to move on from this. There is a thread that joins both him and Beatrice. But the reality is that you might not want your friend to pull on that thread." With that, she quickly stood up from the table. "See you around Cap. I'm sure we'll see each other soon." she told him before walking off and out of the café, leaving Steve a lot to think about.

* * *

Bea walked down the hallway towards her next class. Taking a sip of her chai, she smiled to herself. Today was going to be a good day. No matter what. She had barely slept, but it was okay. It was a new year and a new semester. She would get through it...she hoped.

Her next class was Gothic Fiction. While it was unusual for a history major like herself to want to take a literature class, she had a few electives she still needed to take. She loved books and the class just sounded fascinating to her. Walking into the auditorium she was in for a classroom, she went with sitting in the third row. She sat her bag down and grabbed her notebook before she pulled out her phone to text Priya before her class started.

"Is anyone sitting there?" she suddenly heard someone say.

"You are" she smirked before she looked up to see who had asked her the question. However, the moment she did, her face fell. Before her stood Bucky Barnes...aka the guy she and Priya dubbed Edgar Allan Poe. She blinked hoping she was seeing things, but nope. Life was being cruel to her. He was standing right in front of her. He was in her class. Of all the classes...this  _had_ to be the one. He looked at her strangely for a minute. She wasn't sure if it was due to her response or to the fact she was staring.  _Fuck_ , she was staring at him. "I mean...you can...no...no one is sitting there. Sorry it's a thing I do a lot."

He blinked and kept looking at her strangely before he dropped his bag and sat down in the seat that was diagonally behind her. She let out a deep sigh and shut her eyes. Oh, Jesus Christ superstar. This was not happening.

She looked down at her phone to quickly send Priya a 911 text, but before she could even hit the send button...

"Name me some Gothic fiction authors...starting now!"

She looked up and saw a woman wearing a dark green jumpsuit, black hair, pale skin and holding a briefcase walk into the classroom and straight for the front. She hoisted it up and put it on the table that was at the front of the room and put her hands on her hips. "Well I'm waiting?"

"Robert Louis Stevenson."

"Charlotte Bronte."

"Oscar Wilde."

"Edgar Allan Poe" she heard Bucky say directly behind her that caused Bea's eyes to go slightly wide.

"Mary Shelley" she finally managed to get out.

The woman in the front of the room smiled. "Excellent. You all have are bit head. You've even name many authors that we will be studying this semester" she said brightly. "I am Dr. Vanessa Nordgren. You may call me Dr. Nordgren or Vanessa. Whichever you prefer. Welcome to English 381 also known as Gothic Fiction. If by now you're realized you're in the wrong class, this is your cue to leave. Unless you prefer to stay. We'll have lots of fun. Lots of dark, moody, broody topics we'll study this semester."

No one wonder Bucky Barnes was in this class. It made perfect sense now. It was like this class was written for him specifically.

Vanessa opened her brief case and picked up a piece of paper. Her eyes skimmed it. "We have quite a plethora of majors in here for an upper-class Literature class. From my list, I see some History folks, English of course, gender studies, and creative writing...linguistics" She paused for a moment and looked up around the class. She narrowed her eyes. "Few of you...emailed me for overrides professing you interest in such a rigorous course." She reached for her desk and grabbed a stack of syllabuses and walked over to one person in the front row. "I'm not going to lie to you all. Regardless if you're taking this class because you need it or for shits and giggles, it's not an easy class. I don't make it easy. You want an 'A', you're going to work your ass off for it."

Bea raised an eyebrow. She knew nothing about this teacher when she signed up for the class. She had just wanted to take a class she was interested in, so she said fuck it. But this woman meant business. Guess it would be another semester of her writing papers. Not that she wasn't already used to it.

"So, we're going to hit the ground running" Vanessa smirked at the class. "Your first assignment will be a joint effort. Though I'm not a huge fan of group work, I do feel that it's important for classmates to get to know one another. We will be discussing a lot, so I want us to get comfortable with each other. This is safe space. You can voice your opinions, but know people may disagree with you. However, we shouldn't be discouraged by that. The literature we will be reading could have thousands of interpretations. I just want you to back it up." She reached into her brief case again and picked up a single sheet of paper.

"I want to assign your partners" she spoke. "And before you ask, no you don't get to pick. It was random." A few groans could be heard throughout the classroom and Bea swore that she heard Bucky mutter a quiet 'fuck' from behind.

The professor looked at all of the students. "I want you all to go through the reading list and pick a piece of work. I want you to write a paper as to why it is Gothic fiction. What you pick will determine when the paper is due and on the day, we have our first-class discussion on it, you're going to be in charge of discussion. You'll pick what you want next week, so make sure you have a second and third choice in the event another team picks what you want. Only one work per pair. Now, I'm going to call you out by pairs, so when you hear your name, please raise your hand and let me know if you prefer to be called something else. I know a lot of people do nicknames or go by middle names. God forbid you get emotional over me calling you by your given name."

From there, Vanessa began calling roll and Bea swallowed the lump that had been forming in her throat. She felt uncomfortable suddenly and a sinking feeling in her stomach was soon felt. She couldn't explain it, but something seemed like it was about to happen.

"Beatrice McPherson and James Barnes."

She immediately heard her name and blinked, raising her hand. James Barnes? Who the hell was... _oh fuck_. She slowly turned her head and prayed to God that her gut was wrong. However, the blue eyes that were staring at her told her that her fears were true. It was him. He was James Barnes. She blinked at him and wonder where the hell the name Bucky came from.

"Do you prefer Beatrice and James?" Vanessa looked at the pair, snapping the confused girl out of her thoughts.

"I go by Bucky" his eyes flicked directly to Vanessa quickly.

Bea quickly turned her head back and looked at Vanessa. "Bea is fine with me" she said quietly. Jesus Christ superstar, how was she going to survive the next 15 weeks?

* * *

Bea couldn't stop chewing on her pen the rest of the class period. She was nervous. All she could think about was the fact that she was going to be having to do a project with Bucky Barnes of all people. It didn't help either that she felt that his eyes were staring directly into the back of her head the whole time. It was just her luck. It was like the universe was spiting her for all the times she and Priya made comments about his brooding nature. Priya was going to flip when she found out. Then probably task her with finding out as much as possible about Bucky Barnes. That would force her to be nosey. She hated being nosey.

Mainly because she had dealt with it her whole life being raised by the one and only Tony Stark. He was always in the public eye being an inventor, philanthropist, and playboy on occasion until he proposed to his now fiancée Pepper Potts. When he parents died in a car crash when she was nine, they thought it best that Tony of all people should raise her considering her mother had no living family as did her father. Which A meant in some capacity she was in the public eye as well. She always hated it. She missed privacy a lot. She had managed to get it back in the past few months, but still always felt that she had eyes on her.

Eventually, she checked back into class in time to hear Vanessa dismiss class. She stuck her notebook in her bag and stood up. Licking her lips, she took a deep breath and turned around to face him. He had his head down, packing up his own things. "I don't know if you remember me..."

"I do" Bucky cut her off, still packing up his bag, paying her no mind. "You lived on the floor below me freshman year. We're also friends on Facebook."

Bea blinked and felt her stomach drop. Blushing slightly, she felt embarrassed for even forgetting that she had in fact added the whole dorm within the first two weeks of freshman year. But then again, she hadn't been on Facebook in ages. But it was decided that if it was best if she stayed off all social media until further notice. "Oh yeah. I guess so. I'm sorry I don't really use Facebook that much since..." She closed her mouth and took a deep breath. No, she wasn't going to say anything about it. This was not the time to deal with flashbacks. "I've just not been on in ages."

Bucky looked up at her as he threw his bag over his shoulder and stared at her. He blinked and his face looked as though he was waiting for her to continue. "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get to my next class soon. I hate being late."

She quickly nodded her head and blushed slightly again. "Oh right...well I know it's the first week and all...I just need to get in the groove of things and then maybe start thinking about this assignment. Maybe you need that too?" She stopped and watched as he checked watch before looking back up at her. She felt a sense of annoyance and just gave up. "You know what? We can talk about things later. Never mind. I'll let you get to your next class." With that she began to walk up the stairs to leave the classroom.

"Wait" she heard him let out gruffly. She stopped and turned to look at him.

He looked even more annoyed and let out a deep sigh. "I have a lot of breaks in between classes during the week. I don't have classes Fridays, but I have..." he stopped for a moment. "Work." She couldn't be sure but the way he looked as he said work made it seem like he had something else going on.

"I don't have class either Friday's, but I have something else going on that day" she said quickly, looking down at the floor quickly. "I'm also in the library a lot. You can find me in the stacks usually wherever there's a plug. I also volunteer in Special Collections sometimes. I'm really not that hard to track down anyway. I'm always up for coffee too. I got to Black Sheep Coffee a lot. I think I've seen you there a few times too."

Bucky blinked and nodded after staring at her again for a moment. "Okay. We can figure it out. I...uhh guess since you don't really go on Facebook...I can give you my number and we can make a definite plan."

Her eyes went a little wide after that involuntarily. Shit. He was going to give her his number. Priya was going to die further. Probably insist she put his name as Poe in the phone too. She was too busy in her head freaking out that she didn't bother to see him look at her in confusions. "Is that alright?" he asked snapping her out of her thoughts.

She nodded her head quickly. "Shit, yeah" she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and grabbed her phone, unlocking it. She held out the phone. "Here."

He took it almost immediately and began to type his number into it. After hitting save, he looked back up to her, handing her back the device. He took another deep breath. "I'll uh talk to you soon."

Bea nodded her head again and turned to leave. Walking up the steps, she didn't bother to look back at Bucky. That had to have been one of the most awkward and bit painful interactions she had ever had with another human being. Why did she have to get paired with him off all people?

Walking out of the classroom, she took a deep breath, when she suddenly heard a voice.

"To coffee or not to coffee. That is the question."

Turning around, she saw a young man leaning against the wall of the hallway, smirking at her. "Wrong literature class bozo" she rolled her eyes and laughed. She walked over to him and threw an arm around him, hugging him. "Isaac Holden. I must say this is very unlike you to wait for a friend outside their classroom."

"I got bored" he shrugged, smirking. "So, coffee?"

"Duh!" she looked at him as if saying no would be preposterous. He smiled and put his arm around her and led her down the hallway. Neither one of them noticed that Bucky Barnes was watching until they were completely out of sight.

* * *

"The universe is most definitely punishing you and Priya. It's Karma" Isaac commented as he and Bea grabbed their coffee at Black Sheep after she spent their entire trip there and time in line telling him about her interactions with Bucky Barnes. "Maybe you need to go to the temple with Priya and Ravi to cleanse your soul."

The brunette let out a deep sigh as the pair sat down at an open table. "I'm not sure it's going to work that well. I'd have to make up for two whole years of it." Taking a sip of her coffee, she decided to change the subject. "Tucker back yet? I haven't heard from him much since he left for Switzerland at the beginning of the month."

Isaac let out a laugh and shook his head. "Oh my god it's been drama. Let me tell you. Saturday night at like 3 am. My phone rings. It's Tucker and he's stranded in Geneva. Something about plane issues and they couldn't re-route him that day. He wanted me to hack the system so I could schedule a flight for him."

"Why couldn't he hack the system himself?" she titled her head in confusion.

"That's the best part. His untraceable laptop was in his checked bag, which accidently ended up on a different flight to New York. That bag is getting delivered to the apartment after dinner. So, his bag is here, but he's not. He's missed his first day and he's not happy about either" he explained to her.

Bea smirked and shook her head. "Jesus Christ superstar. Only Tucker would have that many issues."

Isaac took another sip of his coffee and shrugged. "Well at least he's off the no-fly list now and they put the actual terrorist Tucker Carlson on there instead of him."

"Thank you, Tony, for that" she raised her coffee cup. "Thank god we have friends in high places thanks to my extremely well-connected guardian. Although, this means he's going be grumpy for the next week."

"Oh yeah" he made a face and nodded. "It's going to be hell living with him." His mouth soon formed a smirk. "Maybe you need to come over and just get him to relax a bit."

Bea let out a loud groan. She had been expecting this to come up, but not so soon. "God can we not start this now? I told you. We ended things. For good. No more friends with benefits."

Isaac raised an eyebrow at her. She could tell that he was slightly judging her. "Tucker actually was okay with that?" he blinked. "Cause, you know he was starting to fall for you and hard."

She sat back in her chair and sighed. She knew Isaac was right. A few months after her accident and Matt had ended things with her, she was in a low point of her life. She barely was able to cope with her classes and had begun the early stages of therapy. Throughout all of it Tucker was there for her. She had met both Isaac and him in her freshman political science class. She happened to sit beside Isaac who was very pleasant to her. Tucker on the other hand she quickly realized was a bit grumpy. He barely spoke to either of them and only offered a comment here or there. Half the time, he fell asleep in the class too. Both she later learned were roommates and computer science majors.

It took some time, but eventually she managed to get him to warm up to her. It was probably the day she brought him coffee to keep him awake for their midterm review. From there they became friends. She, Isaac, Priya, Ravi, and himself became quite the group that always were making plans to do something whether it be going out in the city or having family night dinner as they dubbed it.

Then her accident happened. The event that sent her to the hospital and in a coma for a month. He had barely left her side when she was in the hospital. When she woke up, he was the first person she saw. After that, he was visiting her every day even when she got out of the hospital. He was there when she listened to the voicemail from Matt. He held her as she broke down and sobbed into his arms. He made it his mission to make her better. About everything. He took her out to dinner, to the movies, and anywhere that would make her feel like life was back to normal.

Then one night after coming back from the movies, they slept together. When they woke up the next morning, it happened again. It kept happening again and again. They never defined their relationship, but they did act like a couple. She was happy about it and so was he. But there was a problem. She cared about Tucker. Really, she did, but she knew she'd never be able to reciprocate the same feelings that he had for her. It was obvious to her that after about 6 months, he was getting very serious about her. So, she did the only thing she could do. One night she went to his apartment and they talked, eventually ending their arrangement. It was an awkward conversation, but after it was all said and done, they parted with the intent of still being friends.

"Tucker was there for me after...after everything happened. He was my rock and things just happened. I care about him. Really, I do, but I wasn't in love with him" she let out a sigh running her hands through her hair. "I couldn't keep acting like I could one day wake up and love him. I know Tuck deserves better than that. He deserves someone that would love him. We're fine. Yeah things might be awkward at first, but we talked a lot during the summer. I think things will go back to normal."

Her friend took another sip of his coffee. "Well I respect you two for being adults about it and not making a huge fuss out of it. We've never been a choose one side type of group. Guess the silver lining is that I won't have to worry about you two waiting me up at all hours of the night with your loud moaning."

Bea glared at him playfully. "Oh, hush you're just pissed that we never invited you to join us."

Isaac smirked and shrugged. "It's fine. I could hear you all through the walls. It was enough to get me off."

She nearly choked on the coffee she was drinking then and there before putting it down on the table. "That's a mental image I did not need" she groaned loudly and making a face. She grabbed her coffee mug and took another sip, but not before noticing Isaac frowning at something behind her. "What is it?" she spoke.

Isaac squinted a bit. "Isn't that tall, dark, and broody?"

She frowned and turned around. Sure, enough walking in Black Sheep was none other than Bucky Barnes. Only this time he had his hair up in a messy bun. She wasn't for the man bun's, but Bea couldn't' deny that he looked damn good. He was still wearing that dark red Henley shirt and now a sinfully good-looking leather jacket. "Christ this guy is everywhere today."

"The universe is trying to tell you something" Isaac sang causing her to turn her head and glare at him. "He's smoking. You can't tell me you haven't thought that."

"To be honest no" she shook her head. "Don't really know him. He lived on the floor above me freshman year, but never really talked to him much until today. He only talks to his friends, but even then, when he's around them it doesn't seem like he does."

Isaac titled his head as he watched Bucky walk up to the counter and order a coffee. He made a face. "You know it's quite warm today. Why's he all covered up? Now that I think about it, you never really see him in a t-shirt or anything where you can see his arms. Bet he has killer arms."

"Maybe he gets cold easily?" Bea suggested. She reached out and patted his hand. "I know it can be disappointing for you when men and women don't show off their assets for you."

"I like to admire. Everyone deserves to be admired" Isaac told her pointedly. His face soon turned into a smile. "Oooh, he's coming over for creamer or something. Maybe time to make your move."

Bea kept silent, but rolled her eyes. She watched as he approached the cream counter and grabbed a straw for his iced coffee. He reached into a pocket and pulled out his cell phone as he unwrapped the straw. He reached to put it back in his pocket, when his eyes finally met her own. His eyes went wide slightly.

"Hi" she gave him a small smile.

He blinked blankly at her for a moment and then looked at Isaac. His eyes flicked back to her and a red tint appeared at his cheeks. "Oh uh...hey" he finally managed to stutter out. With that he quickly threw out his straw wrapper and headed towards the door without uttering another word to her.

Isaac burst out laughing immediately shaking his head. "You made him blush" he chuckled. "That's cute. I think someone has a crush. I think you should bone him when you get the chance.

"Fuck you" she muttered to him.

Isaac stuck his tongue out at her. "As much as I would love to take you up on that, my body is telling me to fuck him instead. Or the girl in my coding class. Or the guy in coding class. Maybe I'll do both this semester. Try something different."

She smirked and shook her head. "Never change Isaac. Tucker's never going to sleep and then he's going to kill you by the end of the semester. I'm going to be the one to have to help hide your body in some random cornfield upstate."

"He could always just take up space in your bed again" he commented in response, smirking causing Bea to roll her eyes for what felt like the millionth time today.

* * *

Music blared through the apartment 3A. Inside Priya was in front of the stove dancing to the music as Ravi helped her. The two of them swayed and bobbed up and down around the kitchen, having the time of their lives cooking dinner. Ravi took her hand and spun her around into him. She put her arms around him as they continued to dance to the music happily.

"Music is my boyfriend" Priya sang to him smiling.

"Music is my girlfriend" he sang to her, rather off pitch, causing her to laugh and shake her head. He spun her around again and they pulled apart prancing around the small area they had for the kitchen.

"Music is my dead end, music's my imaginary friend. Music is my brother, music is my great granddaughter. Music is my sister, music is my favorite mistress" they sang together loudly.

Just then, the door to apartment opened to reveal Bea and Isaac at the other side. Their faces lit up at the sight of their friends dancing and having fun. Both Bea and Isaac looked at one another, shaking their heads and smiling, wondering what on earth their friends were doing.

Priya turned and strutted over to Bea, taking her hand and twirling her. "Music is my beach house, music is my hometown! Music is my king size bed, music's where I meet my friends" she sang and they danced together.

"Music is my hot hot bath, music is my hot, hot sex" they yelled out together. "Music is my back rub, my music is where I'd like you to touch." The girls laughed and Bea twirled Priya back into the kitchen.

"Happy end to the first day of our junior year of college!" Priya giggled happily.

Isaac threw his bag on the couch and plopped down on it. "Still got another four days left till the weekend. Tomorrow we have a new set of classes, what are we celebrating?"

"We wanted to do a family night dinner. Since we're all back, except for Tucker of course, but he's excused this just once" Ravi explained bringing the hot pot of curry and putting it down on the table.

"Well I'll never say no to curry" Bea walked over and lifted the top to it. The Indian spice wafted into her nose and she let out a moan. "Oh my god it smells amazing. I can't wait!" She turned and gave Ravi a giant hug, one that he quickly returned.

"You okay today?" he asked pulling away from her.

"Yeah" she nodded her head in response.

"Brilliant" he gave her a wide smile. "Okay, let's get the plates and stuff our faces!"

* * *

"Alright you know the drill" Priya announced happily as everyone had been eating at the table for dinner. "Something good that happened to you all today. Something bad and something surprising. Isaac, you first." Even after their first semester, she had kept the tradition of having everyone for dinner often. Many times, they ate curry, but they had yet to get sick of it yet. She also made them go around tell each other about their days highlighting highs and lows.

"Good, I have a lot of hot people in my ethical hacking class" he smirked at everyone causing them to roll their eyes at him. "Something bad...well Tucker kept killing my phone with all his texts complaining about missing ethical hacking. Something surprising...hearing that Bea and Tucker were actual adults when it came to ending their friends and benefits thing."

"Jesus Christ superstar dude. Let it go" Bea groaned and threw a piece of naan at him.

"Never" he glared playfully.

Priya shook her head and looked over at Ravi. "Okay sweetheart, you" she looked lovingly at her boyfriend.

Ravi scratched his beard and sighed. "Something good...I am hanging out with my best friends right now." That statement caused everyone to sigh loudly and groan at how cheesy he was. "Oh hush. Something bad...I got a bit lost looking for my invertebrate paleontology class, so I was late. Something surprising is that I think I'm actually going to enjoy my invertebrate paleontology class and I didn't think I would."

"Always a good sign" Isaac nodded taking another bit of his curry.

"Bea?" Priya smiled at her. "Your turn."

"Oh...something good...I'm going to steal Ravi's too. I'm really glad we're all together having dinner, even if Tucker is missing. Something bad...I slept like shit again last night. Something surprising..." she paused and bit her lip. "Bucky Barnes is in my literature class this semester."

Both Priya and Ravi looked at her in disbelief. "Wait what?" her mouth dropped. "Edgar Allan Poe is in your gothic fiction class. Holy shit...talk about irony. I need details now! Can we also talk about the fact that we've each had a class with him for the past three semesters? Ravi had chem with him. Tucker, philosophy. I had stats with him and now he's in your lit class."

"No fair" Isaac pouted. "I want him in one of my classes. He's just so...beefy."

"I think you're over thinking the coincidence. We really don't need to get into this" she said going back to her food.

Ravi looked at her, his eyes narrowing at her. "Young lady!" he said sternly. "You've got your secret face on. What else happened?."

Bea shook her head. She looked up at Priya and Ravi. She was a shit liar when it came to them at times. They could always see right through her. "We're partnered on an assignment together."

His mouth dropped open. He stayed quiet for a moment and his lips formed a huge wide smile. "This is going to be epic!" Ravi screeched out. He reached out and began patting Priya's shoulder nonstop. "Finally, after two years of coming up with theories, we're going to get the full scoop on captain kindness and his buddies. Bloody hell."

Priya, Isaac, and Bea all looked at their friend in disbelief. "Are you done yet?" his girlfriend asked.

Ravi retained composure and took a deep breath. "Yes, thank you. I enjoyed my moment of overly freaking out." He put both of his hands under his chin. "So, what's he like?" he asked like a giddy school child.

"Don't really know" she shrugged in response. "We didn't talk too much. He gave me his number so we could figure out a time to meet up. He stares a lot though."

"We also saw him at Black Sheep this afternoon. She said hi to him and he looked as though he was about to lose his shit" Isaac added, standing up and staring to clear the table.

Priya looked at her friend with wide eyes. "Okay, so that's something. Two times in the same day at Black Sheep. He clearly has a thing for you."

Bea let out a loud groan and looked up. "Maybe he likes Black Sheep as much as we do. Guys can we please try not to make this year about me needing to find a guy. Last year was so nice."

"Yeah, cause you were getting fucked on a regular basis" Ravi smirked, getting up as well. "Tucker was basically your boyfriend without the official title."

"Priya, control your other half please" the brunette sighed loudly.

Her friend just shrugged in response. "He has a point."

Before she could even respond, her phone on the table began to ring. Priya looked over and saw a FaceTime call coming through. The name Tucker Carlson lit up the screen. "Oh, speak of the devil, look who's trying to FaceTime you."

Bea rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. She hit the answer button. After a moment, the phone connected and a video of a young man with a beard, brown hair, and a pissed off look appeared on her screen. "Hey meathead, how's Switzerland? Heard you're having a blast" she greeted.

"I want to fucking die right now" Tucker grumbled grabbing a pillow and putting it over his face. "Please kill me. If we're really friends, you'll kill me. I want to die."

"No, you don't" Isaac called out from behind.

Tucker frowned suddenly revealing his face again. "Is that Isaac?"

"Yep" Bea nodded hitting the button to turn the camera around. She pointed it in the direction of Isaac and Ravi doing dishes together. "Ravi and Priya are here too. You missed family night dinner."

"Wow life goes on while I'm gone" Tucker muttered. "Hey roomie, did my shit get delivered?"

"Yes sir" Isaac saluted. "Your precious Dita is safe and sound on your desk. Now your laundry on the other hand is in a huge pile in your room. Don't expect me to do it."

"Jackass" Tucker sighed.

"Love you too!" Isaac blew him a kiss.

Bea let out a laugh and turned the camera back to face her. "When are you getting back?" she asked getting up out of her chair and heading to her room.

"Hopefully no later than Thursday. I don't know what's going on. Guess the airline I booked with only flies to the states on certain days from here" he replied. "At least they bumped me up to first class and put me up in a decent hotel at no extra cost."

"Better than nothing" she shrugged sitting down on her bed. "You look tired."

"I am, but I'm wired. Hence why I called" he told her. "I wanted to see how your first day went."

"It was okay" she shrugged in response laying down. "Nothing too big to report."

Tucker rolled his eyes and looked at her in disbelief. "You can't lie to me. You never could. Come on, we haven't talked much. There's gotta be something you can give me."

"We haven't talked much because you've been busy with your super fancy conference you got invited to. That was important and I didn't want to distract you" she shot back playfully.

"Well yeah, but you're important to me too. You know that you idiot" he glared playfully in return.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I know. Well...one thing did happen. You remember Bucky Barnes?"

Tucker's head jerked back slightly and he frowned. "The really quiet and broody guy who was in my philosophy class first semester freshman year that you and Priya nicknamed Edgar Allan Poe...yeah why?"

Bea nodded her head. "He's in my gothic fiction class and we got partnered up for an assignment."

"Shit" he let out a breath. "Edgar Allan Poe in a gothic fiction class and with you of all people. Fucking karma man."

"You're starting to sound like your roommate" she sighed running a hand through her hair.

He turned over and curled up more on the bed he was laying on. "Did you sleep last night."

She shook her head. "Not really. It's fine though."

He sighed heavily and looked at her sadly. She could already tell he was getting worried about her again. "Therapy?" he then asked.

"Friday at 11" she sighed. "Like always."

"Unless I'm not back, want to grab something to eat after at the diner?" he suggested, giving her a small smile.

"For waffles?" she asked eagerly.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her in disbelief. "Psh! What are we heathens or something? Of course, for waffles!"

She let out a laugh and nodded her head. "Then of course. Sounds perfect after what I'm sure will be another riveting hour of my life with Dr. Banner."

"It's helping you. You may not realize it, but it is. You're slowly starting to seem like yourself again" he said softly.

She licked her lips and her eyes flicked to the side. "I'm not sure I'll every truly be myself again if we're being honest."

Tucker shrugged. "Maybe not. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

"Yeah I know" she nodded. "Look you're look exhausted. I'll let you go. Keep me updated."

"Always" he gave her a smile. "Love you freak."

She swallowed uncomfortably and sighed. "Love you too meathead." With that the screen went blank. She sighed and put her phone on her stomach. She knew that Tucker's love you were not in a romantic nature, but it still made her feel guilty. He was such a good guy. She wished that she could have felt something more for him. He was such a good guy that he deserved the best love a person could give. She threw her phone off her stomach and stood up walking over to her window.

Lifting the seal up, she stepped through it and sat on the fire escape, letting her legs dangle off the edge. She was tired. But she knew sleep wouldn't come easy. It never did. No matter what she did. Alcohol and pills only made it worse. She would still have the flashes. Hear the loud noises. See herself in the hospital, gasping for air. She would wake up sweating. Sometimes screaming even. God, she wanted to feel normal again. She let out a loud huff and pulled herself up by the railing before she went back into her room. As she went back in, she found herself jumping at the sound of a motorcycle taking off.

* * *

Steve walked down the stairs to the basement of the building and stopped. Not even before he saw everything, he knew Bucky was here. He could hear him. Bucky grunted loudly as he hit the punching bag hard. He kept punching and punching. His friend could see that he was deep in thought the whole time. Though Bucky kept to himself a lot these days, there were moments where he was an open book to read. He came to the basement gym of their building often to blow off some steam. But considering his girlfriend Peggy had told him that he hadn't even bothered to come home to her knowledge he knew something was up.

He slowly walked over towards Bucky. His friends' eyes flicked to him, but he kept punching the bag like his life depended on int. "You weren't at dinner. Peggy had made your favorite. Surprised, you didn't even bother to answer our texts. Where were you?"

"Out and came straight here" Bucky only replied. He suddenly stopped punching and rolled his shoulders back a few times. He let out a slight hiss as he did so.

"Your arm okay?" Steve frowned slightly.

"Fine" Bucky nodded his head before punching the bag again.

The blonde bit his lip, unsure of what else to say next. So, he asked the first thing that came to mind. "Still planning on talking to your therapist and doing PT, Friday?"

"Yes, dad" Bucky grumbled, punching even harder.

"Jeez, what did that bag ever do to you?" Steve asked light heartedly, smirking. However, his friend didn't even bother to crack a smile. He let out a sigh. He still wouldn't talk to him. He knew when Bucky was trying to shut him out. "Buck, don't" he pleaded. "Don't shut me out. What's going on?"

Bucky stopped punching for a moment. He couldn't even bare to look Steve in the eye for what he was about to say. He was thankful he hadn't bothered to put his hair up again. "She's in my lit class Steve. We got partnered up for an assignment." With that he started punching again.

Steve's face fell and he nearly asked Bucky to repeat what he had said. But he knew he wasn't hearing things. He knew exactly what his friend had said. He blinked for a second. "Did you do this on purpose again?" he asked lowly. Bucky kept his eyes on the bag, not bothering to stop at all. Steve let out a sigh and ran his hand through his short hair. That was his answer right there.

"Last semester, you took a class with her friend Priya. Semester before it was Ravi. Philosophy with that Tucker kid? This semester you actually went as far to try to get in a class with her? Bucky, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You need to move on. I don't get it. Do you feel an obligation to her? Some need to protect her?"

"I'm the reason for what happened to her last summer, Steve!" he suddenly yelled out. He punched the bag hard again before grabbing it. He leaned against it breathing heavily. "She almost died. I put her in that fucking coma for a month!"

Steve looked him sympathetically. "Buck...we've been over this. It wasn't your fault. You were manipulated...Pierce..."

"I still did it" Bucky gulped, shaking his head.

Steve sighed loudly and just shook his head. He stayed quiet for a moment. Even after all this time, Bucky couldn't let her go. He couldn't let what happened to him go. All the pain. All the torture. The guilt. It still haunted him day and night. Nothing seemed to help his best friend at all. He thought therapy would. But clearly not. It also didn't help that the one person he had guilt about happened to attend the same university as the two of them. He knew Bucky kept a distance. At the same time, he was always around. It wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to her. Not that she knew the truth or anything. Few people did. They managed to keep it quiet by no short of a miracle.

"This guilt is going to eat you up alive. You need to stop. Stay away from her. Get out of the class. You're constantly putting yourself around her and it's making you get worse instead of better." He stopped for a moment and shook his head. "Do you even know what could happen if Stark found out? You're lucky he still hasn't put a restraining order on you to steer clear of her."

Bucky shook his head and shrugged. "Still wouldn't change anything"

Steve huffed in disbelief. "Nat's been watching her" he stated after a moment of silence

"Of course, she has" Bucky huffed, shaking his head. He blinked and looked up at his friend. "Is she going to tell him?"

Steve only shrugged. "I can't keep asking her to cover for us. She's going to figure out why we go to Black Sheep all the time. She's not stupid." Bucky's head dropped to the floor and Steve could see the slight blush appear on his cheeks. He thought he had been subtle suggesting they go there time and again. Guess he hadn't. "It's not a coincidence that she always seems to be there when we are. It's like you memorized her entire movements. This is borderline stalking, you know that right?"

Bucky kept silent as he let Steve's words sink in. He knew that. He always knew that. He was stalking her basically. He couldn't help it though. He just needed to know she was okay at any given moment. That's all he wanted. He could care less about the consequences or how creepy it made him seem. He just wanted her to be okay.

"Promise me you'll stay away" he heard Steve snap him out of his thoughts. "Tomorrow, go to your lit teacher and change out of the class. Promise me you'll do that."

"Steve..." he glared up at him angrily

"Look I get it" Steve replied. "I'm never going to be able to understand what you went through. None of us will. You're the one having to live with it. The rest of us are just bystanders. But I know this isn't helping you with your recovery. You need to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself means staying away from her. On top of everything, do you really want Stark to come after you again?" He smiled at him sadly. "You know I'm with you till the end of the line, but that fight nearly killed everyone."

Bucky let out a sigh and shook his head. Steve crossed his arms and nodded. "Good. Now, don't stay down here. You need to eat and you know Peggy would be disappointed if you didn't eat the casserole."

Bucky gave him a small smile and nodded. He watched as his friend gave him one last look before turning to head back up to their apartment. Once he was alone he let out a loud groan. "Fuck" he huffed. He knew Steve was right. He needed to keep his distance. He'd go to Vanessa tomorrow and try to get out of the class. He'd do it appease Steve. Maybe he was pushing his luck. That he did need to stay away from her once and for all. It was best for him and best for her. Although deep down, he  _really_  didn't want to.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this! Please let me know what you think and if I should continue.


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